Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Near Dark (1987)

Did it bother anyone other than me that Jesse has been alive for 200 years and he is still a completely sketchy bum ?? maby it hurts vampires to use a shower i don't know

(5/5)

The Video Dead 1987

Things I've learned watching the video dead

  1. Never just trust the guy making up ways to kill the zombies
  2. do not ship your demon t.v. with some 3rd rate courier service 
  3. a chainsaw is useless if your dangling off a tree from some rope
  4. some zombies just kill for fun
  5. its bad to sleep with your housekeeper but its o.k. to sleep with boys who will desecrate the corpse of a dog
  6. zombies are inpatient dinner guests
(4/5)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Drive Thru (2007)

So someone who clearly Loves a certain group of raping clowns went out and made a movie is I were to guess how the idea for this movie stated It would go like this

"lets make a Freddy movie but in place of Freddy i want a bad ass clown with flames on his shirt and a hatchet the kids there going to be the friends I've always wanted and everyone smokes weed"

and the best news of all is that there are so many rapping clown fans in the world that theirs going to be a sequel  Drive Thru 2: The Nightmare Is Just Beginning aka juggalo resurrection

(2/5)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Survival of the Dead (2009) AKA: Beating of the Dead Horse

after seeing land of the dead and diary of the dead for some strange reason I still had hope for survival of the dead I truly thought this would be the redemption of the dead but sadly no it was the worst one yet it felt like i was watching a rob schneider film with the bad accents for no reason, zombie shootouts and the last girl on earth is a obnoxious lesbian ... also seriously fucking twins fuck you

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Ocean Black

http://www.theoceanblack.com/   **6 Minute Preview**

I know there are a lot of assholes making a lot of bad zombie movies these days, but this one looks to have some promise.  Marcos Garcia special effects artist behind Resident Evil: Extinction and Apocalypto moves to the directors seat for this one. The Ocean Black is about Amber, Don and their son Aaron (though if you watch the clip, Aaron goes out like a bitch super early) your typical american family surviving in a zombie apocalypse.  They barricade themselves in their appartment until...... thats right you guessed it they run out of supplies.  I don't know what it is about this one but I have a good feeling about it. I mean come on the kid gets fucking smoke checked by zombie withing the first 6 minutes of the film, how could this not be awesome.

~ Zombie Ate My Breakfast

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