Laid to rest

Fuck, I've been pissing on my eyeballs lately via watching horror movies made in the current years. I thought hey, Laid to rest may be a winner, it does have a dude in a mask and is this enough to carry a film? Nope.

Laid to rest is just a sad attempt to revive the Slasher genre but it gets a giant fail, this movie is an exercise in wanting to throw a boot at your tv. so the crux of the plot is a killer in a shiny mask OOOOOOH??? ok so the killer looks like a goth nerd who wants to blow Anton Lavey, who is into hi-tech gadgets. I don't really care that the fact he has no backstory, but I feel the shit peddlers involved may try to pull a fast one and make a prequel to Laid to rest. What you get in 90 minutes is seeing a piss poor cast and the feeling that the people of the town are in on the killings, but for some reason are fighting Chromeface? the movie drops ideas of this fact for most of the movie and where does it take you? pissed off and angry that the main girl with a head injury who can't remember who she is and when you find out about her past, too late I wanted her dead.

watch see if you come to the same conclusion as us. We here agree its ballbag, and if you need more proof imdb Robert Hall, if this dude is not the fruit of the year, I will just watch Lancelot Link secret chimp and nothing else.

Unholy Moly's Top ten for Two Thousand and Nine

in no good order  here is my top ten of the year

• John Lithgow - way to trump the 5000 actors who played serial killers on Dexter I honestly wanted a spin-off of some sort

 

• The M.J. Conspiracy - Desperate for money to keep living his eccentric life style Michael Jackson faked his death to give his record sales life again it was the only way to get past his alleged pedophilia 

• Krampus - I just learned of this amazing creatures existence American children are missing out on fearing Krampus
  

• Type O Negative at the Palladium - They were slow deep and hard

• C.O.D.M.W. 2 - I've been a 24 hour killing machine  ever since this came out

•  My 10 Speed Gargamel - It's rusty and noisy and bad ass 

• Motorhead at The H.O.B. - The only god I need is Lemmy 

• Meeting Malcolm McDowell - " Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?" I wish he greeted me like that

• The Orphan - Its great when you think a movie is going to suck and it kicks you in the fucking neck and tells you that you know nothing

• Chandra said yes!!! - someone wants to spend the rest of their life with me
  

2009 was a long long year but a lot of good things came out of it in the end unfortunately there were far more terrible things hopefully 2010 is boring or at the least my truck lives another year  

- regretfully yours, Unholy Moly

Casual dress for a shallow grave's Top ten for Two Thousand and Nine

10. Find out today that Susan Sarandon is single again, She proves that milf does a body good.

9. Going to see paranormal activity, it had none of the screaming like a bitch men in the advert. Knowing that it was a good movie, but felt the ending was trite just to please the masses with buttered fingers and screaming children whom all later enjoyed a fun outting to the mall.

8. combining all the different ways to watch films (Hulu, netflix, video room, crackle and theaters) into one nonstop movie that my life is.

7. Troll 2, so much to say about this film. I would need a separate earth to house all the love in my heart for Troll 2.

6. WWE greatest managers documentry, Classy Freddy Blassie is a man I have idolized even since I found out what the man stood for. I had my life changed for the better after reading his book and I took the mantle of warning the world about the peril of pencil neck geeks and what harm they cause the world.

5. Chicago and Earth, wind and fire at the Greek theater.

4. Getting my fat ass to the gym, sheet cake is ranked 11 to 43 in my best of list.

3. Going though the entire seires of the Shield.

2. Making a joke of Brittany Murphy's death as soon as I found out about it, by saying she was the female Heath Ledger and Perez Hilton just put up the same headline after me...Sorry Bitch. FIRST!

1. Introducing my girlfriend to the best show to ever exist, Father Ted. Father Ted is the funniest show ever to not get heard of by the masses, if course it was from the bbc, it had to be from England because it does not reflect the 2.5 kill yourself picket fence suburb hell that most sitcoms have, Sorry Tim Allen drugs did not make you funny or edgy, just made you a lame ass decked out in plaid, wheres your career? Is it sitting on the pocket of a santa suit in a broom closet of a Disney soundstage?

This does not sum up my entire year, but just a few moments in time. Fuck anyone who still holds a candle for god, ghosts or anyone ooga booga shit, that cannot be verified with science. I have been told all my life to respect beliefs of others. I have become more focused in my anger towards "beliefs" seeing that just fifty years ago people wanted me dead just because I fell in the jewish way of life, I make an effort to turn my back towards anything pretaining to "faith" Faith itself disgusts me, its the perfect way to have a bottomfeeder have the ability to end an arguement by saying " I see you have presented your facts, but I will still go to church every sunday so I can pay rent to my invisible landlord".

Make the most of your new year and crush the windpipe of anyone who would harm animals(besides bacon)