Thursday, November 26, 2009

ThanksKilling (2009)

It would seem as if the people who wrote the dialog for this movie had never interacted with another human being.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Hunger (1983)

If i could rename this film it would be (the lonely lonely vampire) or (Bowie turns into gram pa from the texas chainsaw massacre)

Mister Frost (1990)

so satan came to earth as a magician with gene simmons hair to get some stupid bitch to kill him

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

charlie bucket is a ungrateful prick who would rather go to a chocolate factory then sell the golden ticket and get his poor family out of dept

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told (1968)

Spider Baby paved the road for movies such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes. Most things from the 60s make me want to kill myself while Spider Baby proves good things can come out of shitty times

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Wes craven got ran over by a manure cart

The onslaught is wearing me down, this must been how it feels to survive in a small house that is being swarmed by zombies. I am being bombarded with remakes of horror movies that resemble something I know and love, but it may have some of the characteristics of the films that I have spent years learning and being entertained by, but in truth remakes are just the cold dead shells of artwork that are as vacant and as engulfing as zombies tearing down walls rather than eatting you, remakes are an assult on artistic freedoms and I have seen the Last house on the left remake. Oh boy what did they do to capture the stink of shit on a dvd? I know someone asshole in the world may object to the villians being sweaty Italians who love the rape, guess what villians are bad because of their williness to do bad shit, not because of their race and shame on you for being afaird of a group of people based on their heritage.

I have a few bones to pick on this one, last house is one of them and I may tight that loose end up later. Friday the 13th, I went to see this and I had hopes for it and it let me down. I was laughing my ass off due the fact Jason was a pot growing hulking retard just like the new crop of remake villians and why did Jason have to have a "STASH"? it was just a dumb ass reason to fill the seats with teenyboppers to have Jason to be hip and with it. The movies them selves were weakened by copying the series, leadind to being painted in to a corner and have some asshole say "put Jason in space" I could drink 18 Boddingtons and piss in a bucket and drink the bucket, but it will never match the joy of drink the first Boddingtons and each one just put me one step closer to drinking from a bucket of piss. I just going to say I have never drank my own pee from a bucket fyi.

I wonder how the sloppy fuckfest of Nightmare on elm st will go? Will they make him the child molester will all know and love? eww! they did make a whole series of films about a diddler and we all watched them. I am just wondering how they gold plate this turtle-head from the ass of hollywood? We already seen this shit before and Oh thanks it will be a younger cast and darker and lot more jump cuts and maybe a creepy little girl!!!

Fuck you, just don't watch the remakes anymore and maybe they will go away.


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