Sledgehammer (1983)

All beware the ghost sledgehammer of a 12 year old ghost boy who we have no clue how he died or how he became 30 years older 20 years later all this and a gym rat party you will never forget!

(2.5/5)

Chillerama (2011)

If your idea of fun is sitting at home and watching family guy reruns this is your movie and we here at Satan's Orphans strongly suggest one thing get up go to the kitchen sink open the cabinet underneath grab a big bottle of bleach and start chugging

(1/5) I Hate You

Tourist Trap (1979)

This movie creeps me out well its more like blond guys, overalls and manikins creep me out and this movie is full of them

The Brood 1979

With the help of modern psychiatry Nola Carveth has successfully made we want to vomit all over myself

T is for Turbo

I have so little faith that filmmakers will get there shit together but there things that make me eat my words. I was turned on to the ABC's of Death and this happens to be a anthology of 26 directors who have made shorts films that get voted on by folks and from what I've seen its damn awesome. I've been busy of late trying to folks laugh with me instead of at me, made some progress little but still its an improvement. Take some time to watch some short films instead of watching a god damn remake!

T is for Turbo is five minutes of pure entertainment with an early troma feel, keep in my this short has entertained me more than any mainstream film has done in a long time. Who knows maybe will be remaking this in thirty years and some poorly educated knucklehead will rail against it long after Im dead or just given up on the state of films.

Like I always say, I hope I can tell someone smarter than me and they can do something about it.

T is for TURBO from RKSS.tv on Vimeo.

The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)

I would have watched this years ago if someone had told me that the green mile was a remake of this film so sad ... so sad

(5/5)

StageFright: Aquarius (1987)

this is a wonderful slasher if you can get past this one thing HOW THE FUCK CAN HE SEE WHATS GOING ON IN THAT OWL HEAD !!!!

(4/5)

Nightmare City (1980)

everybody lookout its a plane full of guys with poo on there face and they're pissed

(2/5)

Necronomicon 1993

So waaay back in 1993 some genius in Hollywood decided to make a movie based off of H.P. Lovecraft's Fabled book of the dead. How they thought this was a good idea is way beyond my fucking comprehension. This is basically a anthology movie with a wraparound story of H.P. (played by Herbert West himself Jeffrey Combs) stealing the book from some weird monk guys in new york city in the 20's it appears Lovecraft is seeing the future in the book as all of the stories take place in modern times (well 1993 ). The first of the stories deals with some guy who inherits an old family home by the sea and his wife is dead and he wants to bring her back. Of course he uses the Necronomicon left in the house from his ancestor who used it to resurrected his wife and child who died in shipwreck back in the day. Neither of these idiot dudes think that using the book of the dead to bring their dead family's back will be a bad idea. Those of us with some sense in out damn heads know it can only end with your wife coming back as a tentacle bitch intent on killing you . The man in modern times ends up almost being eaten by a Kracken/ Cthulu monster living under the house as it sinks into the ocean with him escaping via the roof and impaling the Kracken with a piece of glass right in his eye! The second story is all about all about the nerdy scientist who played Baxter Stockman in the second Ninja turtles movie who is keeping himself alive with some cold Mr freeze style serum. A reporter comes to investigate and of course he knocks her up. Blah blah stuff happens she leaves and comes back while hes killing someone for his serum stuff and his lab burns up and she is saved by the elderly landlord woman who always loved the Dr and they raise the baby presumably by killing people and draining the spinal fluid form them and using the Necronomicon just like the Dr was doing the whole time. The third and final story is a bout two cops one of which got the other preggers searching a warehouse for a serial killer named the butcher. Long story short the butcher is the man leading them around the whole time and hes working for aliens. The aliens are stealing people brains and putting them into weird Mynock looking creatures. The female cop wakes up in the "hospital" which is really the weird Mayan/alien temple spaceship thingy.

All in all this movie is pretty fucking great watch it!

Doctor Rampageo's thoughts can be heard everyday over at plasticgraveyard.com

im in there somewhere

So ive been writing for http://www.plasticgraveyard.com/ why they would want me is far beyond my comprehension it must be more trouble censoring my 12 word posts with a dick photo attached than  to just not have me share my hate ummmm yeah sift through the toy photos to find the non horror movies ive been watching

Insidious 2010

So darth maul is haunting a child while poltergeist and amniville horror get poorly ripped off by a hack hard to believe its going downhill from dead silence

(1/5)

Mark of the Devil (1970)

 

If you ever find yourself thinking that you want to pursue the glorious career of a witch finder this is a must see inside look at the inner politics and the perks of the job

(4/5)

Devil (2010)

After watching the Mechanist M. Night Shyamalan re-wrote the plot to saw with a mouth breather a bitchy old lady and friends