Monday, February 8, 2010

Playroom

I always pondered why this film has stuck out in my mind as one of the more terrible drivelfest that was 90's horror and as got meself a copy of this dreck on vhs format, I wondered how much drugs I would have to take to enjoy this( I don't do drugs, still maintaining a role model status)

Playroom was a story written by Jackie Earl Haley and you may know him for being the cool kid in the Bad News Bears or the deep talking maskie in the Watchman. I think this maybe the best of Serbian horror and that's not much to say. I did enjoy the fact Vincent Schiavelli had an awesome as always part as a man charged for murders and bent of revenge, This dude you may remember as the tall weird looking gent in ghost and in my opinion this dude has never played a bad part in the films I have seen him in.

Plotshite in a nutshell, Christopher Mcdonald plays an archaeologist who has to live with dreams of finding his whole family killed and he is now going to the place where it happened, to me this don't seem like the best idea( hey what did I know, I'm just a cunt on a blog) and so off to a cool looking place with his GF and his Ex-junkie photographer Friend with his hippy GF.

At the castle/whatever Shooter Mcdonald finds his Imaginary friend and this kid looks like he came down with a case of the 90's doucheyness and he smacks around Shooter for a while untils he snaps and thinks its ok to take his friends into the "playroom" aka torture room and since there is a low number of cast there is a lack of inventive kills, but the chair is kinda funny but would you allow the same liberty to Jason to use the same kill in the same movie NO and thats the way it should be, fuck off if you don't agree and there is a punch waiting for all those who challenge and I will set up a fight in front of a dumpster in case.

Saving grace Vincent Schiavelli is a dude who breaks out a looney bin to check suckers with his ability to severer a head with three bullets and this statement is uttered by Vincent in hopes someone will take him up on the offer.

Daniel the made up friend from shooter Mcdonald in the Final act revealed to a beef jerky yoda who tries his best to be an understudy to the Cryptkeeper and fails to the max. I would take this dude own sword and stick it up his and make him an chuckie wannbe Popsicle. I have to say there is giggles to be had at the horrible factor of the villain being a twat child who is really a peanut head with a sword who tried to get catchphrases ala poochie or some shit.

Wrapup is little scares to be had in Playroom and for some reason I feel could have been a better film if Italian actors been used instead of Christoper Mcdonald who seems to overact and does not set a mood in the least, I guess this why he make a good second banana not the big draw in films and I do not insult but it seems a wee bit improv.

And what kind of rant would it be if I did not slag remakes, Fuck the idea of Nightmare on Elm street. Jackie Haley will just be throating his voice for this remake just like everyone since Crhistian Bale did it for the new Batman and now brooding has a blanket voice!!! Cunt cunt cunt is all have to say if you can't make you own film instead of the template method that has overrun horror today.

2 comments:

unholy moly said...

baseing your movie around a room takes balls

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