Mutant

A specter is haunting Goodland--the specter of Mutant.

Mutant, born free but everywhere in chains, constitutes "a danger that lurks below."

But that's not all.

God, no.

A "ghoulish tale" directed by John "Bud" Carlos, Mutant transports its viewers to the ninth circle of hell--which just happens to be a "small midwestern town."

Bo Hopkins plays...some guy who travels to Goodland to...solve mysteries or some shit. After a truculent backwoodsman and his petulant coterie of clodhoppers forces Bo and his brother--an invalid that wears a propeller cap--to drive off a bridge by beleaguering him with a barrage of "Yo' mama" jokes, Bo decides to head into town to meet some local women. There he meets...whatever character Jennifer Warren plays...whoever Jennifer Warren is.

Meandering aimlessly in a giant diaper and yellow duck slippers, Bo's brother stumbles upon a homeless man that relates a foreboding message. "Stay out of Goodland. Get out while there's still time." It turns out that the local chemical plant has been illegally dumping toxic waste, and several farmers have gone missing. The old man vanishes. Bo's brother licks his oversized lollipop.

Then like two and a half hours go by during which Mutant kills like one person.

Mutant is no The Being, that's for sure.